When Everyday Tasks Feel Impossible: ADHD, OCD, and the Weight of “Simple” Things

If you live with ADHD, OCD, or both, you already know something most people don’t:
the smallest, most ordinary tasks can feel like climbing a mountain in flip-flops.

Showering. Answering an email. Switching laundry. Emptying the dishwasher “real quick.”
These aren’t just tasks—they’re neurological puzzles, emotional minefields, or both.

People often respond with, “Just do it! It only takes five minutes!”
But if it were that simple, you would have done it already.

This post is for the people who feel ashamed, frustrated, or confused by how hard “normal life” seems. You are not lazy. You are not broken. You are not alone.

Why Simple Tasks Aren’t Simple for ADHD and OCD Brains

1. ADHD and Executive Dysfunction

ADHD isn’t a motivation issue. It’s a brain wiring issue. Executive dysfunction makes it difficult to:

  • initiate tasks

  • sequence steps

  • transition between activities

  • hold multiple actions in working memory

So when you think, “I need to unload the dishwasher,” your brain adds:

Stand up → walk to the kitchen → move dishes → where do these bowls go again → I’m bored → I’m overwhelmed → I’ll do it later.

Your brain hits a traffic jam before step one.

2. OCD and the Perfection/Threat Loop

OCD adds its own barriers:

  • fear of doing something “wrong”

  • mental rituals that slow you down

  • contamination fears around bathrooms or kitchens

  • perfectionism that turns a 5-minute task into an hour-long ordeal

Showering isn’t just showering—it could be a series of “rules,” intrusive thoughts, or a need to perform actions in a certain way.

No wonder your brain wants to avoid it.

You Deserve to Feel Understood

If you’ve ever stared at a sink full of dishes and felt dread, shame, or frustration—you’re not failing. You’re experiencing a neurological difference that changes how tasks feel.

And the truth is:
You can still build a life that feels manageable, peaceful, and aligned with how your brain works.

Here are practical ways to support yourself—ones that actually work for ADHD/OCD brains.

Practical, Compassionate Strategies for Daily Tasks

1. Shrink the Task Until It Feels Possible

Instead of:

  • “Clean the kitchen”

Try:

  • “Move one plate to the dishwasher.”

ADHD brains need momentum; OCD brains need reduced pressure. Smaller is better.

2. Use “Body Doubling”—In Person or Virtual

You’d be surprised how much easier things feel when someone is simply with you, even silently.
Try:

  • a friend

  • coworking with a partner

  • a video body-double session on YouTube

It reduces overwhelm and increases initiation.

3. Try the 2-Minute Rule—But With ADHD/OCD Tweaks

The classic rule: If it takes less than two minutes, do it now.
But let’s be realistic.

Try this instead:

  • “Work on it for two minutes. You can stop after.”

Most people keep going—but there’s no pressure if you don’t.

4. Lower the Bar. Then Lower It Again.

It’s okay if:

  • your shower is 90 seconds

  • your dishwasher is half-full

  • your laundry lives in baskets instead of drawers

“Good enough” is still good.

5. Use Tools That Remove Decisions

Decision fatigue hits ADHD hard. OCD amplifies it.
Try:

  • keeping shower items in a caddy

  • putting everyday dishes on one easy-to-reach shelf

  • leaving out a “starter task” each night (like placing clothes on a chair)

Less thinking = more doing.

6. Celebrate Micro-Wins

ADHD and OCD brains respond well to dopamine and positive reinforcement.
If you:

  • took a shower

  • sent one email

  • put one dish away

—that counts. That matters.

You’re Not Alone—And You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

Everyday tasks don’t define your worth. Your struggle is valid, and your brain deserves understanding—not shame.

At Authentic Connections Counseling, our clinicians specialize in ADHD, OCD, anxiety, and executive dysfunction. We help you build systems, routines, and confidence that support the life you want—one compassionate step at a time.

If you’re ready to feel understood, supported, and empowered, we’re here.

You don’t have to carry this alone.

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